Monkey business

President Bush endorses teaching "intelligent design" -- creationism in disguise -- alongside evolution in public schools. Bush says that people "ought to be exposed to different ideas" so they can make up their own minds.

Great idea, but it doesn't go far enough.

Such a curriculum would be incomplete without theories about the world being supported on the back of a turtle, which appear in Native American and Hindu cultures, among others. Or the African story about the earth being formed by the deity Obatala using sand, seeds, a chicken, and a cat. Or the Siberian tale of Buga creating the first people out of iron, fire, water, and earth.

They're all just theories, right?

Astrology should be taught with astronomy, health classes include sections on homeopathy and faith healing, and all English classes teach ebonics as well.

It's important for kids to learn about December 7, 1776, when the Germans bombed Pearl Bailey.