Falling down

As I left the Metro station the other day, an older woman behind me tried to negotiate between two traffic cones covering ill-fitting grates on the sidewalk, caught her foot on a crack, and did a face plant onto the concrete. Her nose bloodied, I gave her a napkin packed with my breakfast.

The next morning, outside the Metro station, there was another cone covering the edge that tripped the woman up, creating a barrier stretching half across the sidewalk.

With enough cones, we could make this city safe.

Dear Tourists

Welcome to the District of Columbia – the nation’s capital, the city of monuments, the people’s city.

• Don’t miss the waterslide down from the top of the Washington Monument. Well worth the extra $3.50.
• After visiting the Treasury building, they give out samples just like the Hershey’s tour. Let the kids keep the $1s and $5s; go for the big bills.
• Few people know that George Bush plays checkers against all comers in Lafayette Park during lunch on Fridays. Wagering is not allowed.
• If you whisper a secret into Abe’s ear at the Lincoln Memorial, it will come true.

But seriously

Stand on the right, walk on the left. Ferchristsake.